Church Socialites
Okay, so I’m kind of using a friend’s experience with this one right now.
My friend,The Georgia Knitter, attends Pleasant Grove Baptist Church and the Pastor there is Ronnie Youngblood, I know this man. He’s a good man. There’s a family that attends PGBC with my friend. A family of uppity high and mighty’s. The Abercrombies. Well, Ronnie is the new pastor at PGBC. And he brought people to the empty church. There is now a Teen Sunday School, and Middle Schoolers and youth! But the Abercrombies got all pissy because Ronnie brought WALMART PEOPLE to the church. Hello! Mrs. A is a TEACHER and Larry? Who knows what the fuck he does! So they decided to do a revote to see if they could vote Ronnie out of the position because he had ousted the Abercrombies from running the entire church (Jen had control of 1/2 the stuff and Larry was head Deacon so he had the other half!). Larry Abercrombie went into the old files for members that my friend had never met in her entire attendance of that church (5 years), and trash talked him to them so they’d come and vote for him to be fired. They lost so they began trash talking his entire family. So Ronnie turned in his resignation letter that tomorrow will be his last day as official pastor, 2 weeks ago. So the next Sunday, guess who was back in their pew? You guessed it! Jennifer, Larry, Justin and Christian Abercrombie, the little fucks. And I am going to Pleasant Grove Baptist Church tomorrow to support Ronnie Youngblood even though I haven’t stepped foot in a church in ages.
Church socialites should never have to be a subject of a blog. Because they shouldn’t exist. But since they do, I am going to embarrass them into submission, because, honey, I write to the local paper frequently under a nom de plume.
A church is a place where men and women, young and old, should be able to come together to worship their Lord and Savior. NOT TO SHOW OFF HOW FUCKING STUCK UP YOU ARE!! So, I’m going to church with The Georgia Knitter in the morning and if the Abercrombies happen to be at Pleasant Grove Baptist Church tomorrow, I will personally walk up to them and BITCHSLAP THEIR ASSES ALL THE WAY TO FRIGGIN URANUS AND TELL THEM THAT THAT’S FROM SWEET PEA HERETIC!!!!
So next time someone tries to be a Church Socialite, BITCHSLAP THEY ASS, STRAIGHT THUG STYLE! Aiight?

Stand up!
Stand out!
Be you!